Chocolate is a Vegetable

[sinjun]

Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean -
vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in
the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.

To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also
contain milk, which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.

Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and
strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands,
you're eating it too slowly.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home
from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the
parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll
take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top
of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
(We're testing this with other snack foods as well.)

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white
chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make
you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily
intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?

If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's
wrong with you?

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be
devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?

Comments

[insaint.livejournal.com]

*snickers*
Now.. where are those Aero bars I bought... ;)