The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air. The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!"
The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."
Why Client Server Computing is like Teenage Sex
- It is on everybody's mind all the time. - Everyone is talking about it all the time. - Everyone thinks everyone else is doing it. - Almost no one is really doing it. - The few who are doing it are...
...doing it poorly; ...sure it will be better next time; ...not practicing it safely.
Software Development Cycle
Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
Repeat three times steps 3 and 4.
Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
Users find 137 new bugs.
Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires a programmer to redo program from scratch.
Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free...
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momijizukamori
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"Here we are, now... Entertain us!"
Date: 2005-03-05 03:49 am (UTC)The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air.
The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!"
The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."
Why Client Server Computing is like Teenage Sex
- It is on everybody's mind all the time.
- Everyone is talking about it all the time.
- Everyone thinks everyone else is doing it.
- Almost no one is really doing it.
- The few who are doing it are...
...doing it poorly;
...sure it will be better next time;
...not practicing it safely.
Software Development Cycle
Re: "Here we are, now... Entertain us!"
Date: 2005-03-05 03:55 am (UTC)That's just scary.... it's so true - no wonder it's funny. ;)
Re: "Here we are, now... Entertain us!"
Date: 2005-03-05 04:01 am (UTC)Re: "Here we are, now... Entertain us!"
Date: 2005-03-05 04:05 am (UTC)There were more:
If computer errors were written as haikus
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
The file you need
might be very useful.
But now it is gone
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, reboot.
Order shall return.
Wind catches lily,
scattering petals to the ground.
Segmentation fault.
With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
File not found.
The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist.
You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
No keyboard present.
Press F1 to continue.
Zen engineering.
This site has moved.
We'd tell you where, but then
we'd have to delete you.
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.
Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?
Re: "Here we are, now... Entertain us!"
Date: 2005-03-05 04:12 am (UTC)Re: "Here we are, now... Entertain us!"
Date: 2005-03-05 04:47 am (UTC)Re: "Here we are, now... Entertain us!"
Date: 2005-03-05 01:13 pm (UTC)