Never under estimate the little old lady!
Jul. 4th, 2003 02:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sinjun> A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of
> money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to
> open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming
> and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office.
> (The customer is always right!)
>
> The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She
> replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.
>
> Of course, the president was curious as to how she came by all this cash,
> so
> he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around.
> Where did you get this money?"
>
> The old lady replied, "I make bets."
>
> The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?"
>
> The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your
> balls
> are square."
>
> "Ha!" laughed the president. "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that
> kind of bet!"
>
> The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"
>
> "Sure," said the president. "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not
> square!"
>
> The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money
> involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 A.M., as a
> witness?"
>
> "Sure!" replied the confident president.
>
> That night, the president got very nervous about the bet, and spent a long
> time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side,
> again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure there
> was
> absolutely no way his balls were square, and that he would win the bet.
>
> The next morning, at precisely 10:00 a.m., the little old lady appeared,
> with her lawyer, at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to
> the president, and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls
> are square!"
>
> The president agreed with the bet again, and the old lady asked him to drop
> his pants so they could all see. The president did. The little old lady
> peered closely at his balls, and then asked if she could feel them. "Well,
> okay," said the president. "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you
> should be absolutely sure."
>
> Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against
> the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter
> with your lawyer?"
>
> She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that, at 10:00 AM today,
> I'd have the balls of the president of the Bank of Canada in my hand."
> money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to
> open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming
> and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office.
> (The customer is always right!)
>
> The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She
> replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.
>
> Of course, the president was curious as to how she came by all this cash,
> so
> he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around.
> Where did you get this money?"
>
> The old lady replied, "I make bets."
>
> The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?"
>
> The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your
> balls
> are square."
>
> "Ha!" laughed the president. "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that
> kind of bet!"
>
> The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"
>
> "Sure," said the president. "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not
> square!"
>
> The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money
> involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 A.M., as a
> witness?"
>
> "Sure!" replied the confident president.
>
> That night, the president got very nervous about the bet, and spent a long
> time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side,
> again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure there
> was
> absolutely no way his balls were square, and that he would win the bet.
>
> The next morning, at precisely 10:00 a.m., the little old lady appeared,
> with her lawyer, at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to
> the president, and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls
> are square!"
>
> The president agreed with the bet again, and the old lady asked him to drop
> his pants so they could all see. The president did. The little old lady
> peered closely at his balls, and then asked if she could feel them. "Well,
> okay," said the president. "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you
> should be absolutely sure."
>
> Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against
> the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter
> with your lawyer?"
>
> She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that, at 10:00 AM today,
> I'd have the balls of the president of the Bank of Canada in my hand."
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-07-04 11:18 am (UTC)A man has a complete facelift and makeover done. He's flat-out AMAZED. 20 years have been lifted from his features.
He goes to the bank and brags to everyone he can find. "How old do you think I am?" And when they would answer, they would invariably guess somewhere in the middle-30s, and he'd laugh loudly. "I'm 53!!!". And of course everyone was amazed.
He went to lunch and repeated the act, asking everyone in the restaurant to guess his age. None could guess it, and the man was pleased as punch.
He went outside, and on the street he spotted the Little Old Lady. He couldn't resist, and he asked her to guess his age.
She gave him a keen and sharp look, and said "Young Man, I happen to be very very good at guessing ages. But faces can lie, so I'm going to need to feel your testicles to tell for sure."
The man is in such a hilarious mood, he challenges her. She accepts, and sticks her hand down his pants. She hefts them, tweaks them, rolls them around, and eventually she nods and says: "I'd say you're fifty... fifty-three years old".
The man is stunned. "You got it, exactly! How... Where did you learn that trick? How does it work?"
She just smiles, and turning to get on her bus, she says: "I was in the bank".
no subject
Date: 2003-07-04 11:20 am (UTC)Thanks for that. I like it. I should send it back to the person who sent me the first one!
President of the Bank of Canada
Date: 2003-07-04 11:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-04 01:03 pm (UTC)That was a good one. One of these days I'll have to type out a joke I know and put it up here. :)
Re:
Date: 2003-07-04 01:05 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-07-04 01:31 pm (UTC)Okay. In that case... *points to her LJ*
Re:
Date: 2003-07-04 03:27 pm (UTC)Excellent!