My friend keeps sending me these ... and they're so appropriate somehow

[sinjun]

SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov
21)

Week of October 19,
2000

Hallelujah and glory be
to the Great Mobius
Strip in the Sky! You
Scorpios have been
chosen to receive a
shocking privilege: the
chance to reincarnate
without even having to
die! This week is the
time. Your home is the
place. The womb of
creation goes into labor
and out pops a new and
improved version of the
jaded old you. Don't be
afraid. It'll be more
fun than any ordeal
you've ever had. The
pleasure will outstrip
the pain, I guarantee
it! (P.S. Please feel no
shame if you immediately
have to seek out some
metaphorical diapers.)