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The 12 Days of Catmas
On the first day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... A carpeted, cheaply homemade cat tree. I think it was a feeble attempt by the Big Owner to get me off his bed where I take up most of his space. Sorry, no go.
On the second day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Two catnip toys. They were destroyed within minutes. Next...
On the third day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Three nuggets of Pounce. Stingy humans. After they went to bed I knocked the can over, ripped off the lid, and ate the rest.
On the fourth day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Four furry mice. They were fake. What a disappointment.
On the fifth day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Five small lattice balls. They made such an irritating noise on the hardwood floor the Big Owner took them away the next day.
On the sixth day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Six floppy stuffed Beanie Dalmatians. 95 to go. Big whoop.
On the seventh day of Catmas my human gave to me ... Seven Pet Food Covers. Hold on here, buckaroo. I eat a whole can of that stuff at one sitting. Covers suggest I won't be doing that anymore? Over your inert body.
On the eighth day of Catmas my human gave to me ... Eight Hairball Toys. Looks just like the real thing.
On the ninth day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Nine humans dancing. Trying to not step on the fake hairballs.
On the tenth day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Ten balls of twine. Old reliable. Boring. I may fashion a noose for the Big Owner out of it.
On the eleventh day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Eleven minutes of scratching. It's about all the Big Owner (or I) can handle before strands of hair fly up into his nose and make him sneeze all over me.
On the twelfth day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Twelve human hugs and kisses. It makes up for all the rest. It was a good day. Cheers
On the second day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Two catnip toys. They were destroyed within minutes. Next...
On the third day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Three nuggets of Pounce. Stingy humans. After they went to bed I knocked the can over, ripped off the lid, and ate the rest.
On the fourth day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Four furry mice. They were fake. What a disappointment.
On the fifth day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Five small lattice balls. They made such an irritating noise on the hardwood floor the Big Owner took them away the next day.
On the sixth day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Six floppy stuffed Beanie Dalmatians. 95 to go. Big whoop.
On the seventh day of Catmas my human gave to me ... Seven Pet Food Covers. Hold on here, buckaroo. I eat a whole can of that stuff at one sitting. Covers suggest I won't be doing that anymore? Over your inert body.
On the eighth day of Catmas my human gave to me ... Eight Hairball Toys. Looks just like the real thing.
On the ninth day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Nine humans dancing. Trying to not step on the fake hairballs.
On the tenth day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Ten balls of twine. Old reliable. Boring. I may fashion a noose for the Big Owner out of it.
On the eleventh day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Eleven minutes of scratching. It's about all the Big Owner (or I) can handle before strands of hair fly up into his nose and make him sneeze all over me.
On the twelfth day of Catmas my humans gave to me ... Twelve human hugs and kisses. It makes up for all the rest. It was a good day. Cheers